There was a stretch of time where I would wake up already behind, not literally, but in my head. No one had said anything, nothing bad had happened, but the feeling was there. Something like, "Everyone else is better at this than you".
I told myself it was just part of being ambitious. Or tired. Or a working mum. But if I’m honest, it was imposter syndrome. That feeling that somehow, people would eventually see I didn’t belong in the rooms I was in.
It showed up in the way I hesitated in attending events where I thought I wouldn't be smart enough to add value, and the second-guessing after conversations. The smile-and-nod while thinking, I hope I sound like I know what I’m doing.
And then one day, I had a conversation with someone I deeply respected. Someone at the top of their field. They’d just delivered something brilliant, and in a quiet moment afterward, they said to me, "I keep thinking someone’s going to figure out I’m not the real deal."
I remember being stunned. Not because they felt it, but because they had just put into words what I’d carried around for years.
That was the shift. Not an overnight change, but the moment I realised this wasn’t just my private failing. It was a pattern. A familiar one. And maybe it could be broken. The first step for me was simply naming it.
I started to notice the moments it showed up. The little thoughts that would try to clip my voice before I even used it. It’s easy to believe those thoughts when they arrive quietly, like fact. But I began to ask, “Is this true? Or is this a loop I’ve been running?”
Often, that was enough to soften the hold.
I didn’t replace those thoughts with big declarations. That didn’t feel honest. Instead, I tried short, grounded replies.
You are prepared.
You’ve earned your place in this conversation.
It’s okay to be learning and still belong here.
They became like scaffolding on the days my confidence felt a bit shaky. What helped the most wasn’t eliminating the negative thoughts. It was interrupting them.
I didn’t try to be louder than the voice of doubt. I just chose to be more consistent.
And in time, the shape of the internal dialogue changed. Not perfect. Not polished. But kinder. And far more useful.
Imposter syndrome wants you to believe you're alone in the feeling. You’re not.
The trick is not to wait until you feel confident. The trick is to show up anyway, and speak to yourself like you would someone you care about.
Another trick? I've started wearing my own Whisper & Thread underwear with the affirmation "it's ok to be learning and belong". They genuinely help!
Does this resonate with you?
